Shaker Heights Dragnet

Things in Shaker are very different than you would find otherwise.  Take the crime, (as reported in the Cleveland Sun Press) for example:

ATTEMPTED THEFT, HILDANA ROAD: Someone tried to steal a car Oct. 18.


(Note, they tried to steal a car - they didn't vandalize it, they just tried to steal it to see if they could.)

THEFT, CHAGRIN BOULEVARD: A Cleveland man, 52, was arrested Oct. 18 for stealing sunflower seeds from Heinen’s.


(Sunflower seeds?  Chop off his hands!)

THEFT, CHAGRIN BOULEVARD: On Oct. 19, police arrested a Cleveland man, 59, for stealing 10 packs of gum, bottles of lotion, mouthwash and other items from Rite Aid.


(Well its obvious he had a date that night.)

THEFT, NORTH MORELAND BOULEVARD: A resident reported Oct. 19 that someone stole a package with two pairs of golf shoes that had been delivered to his apartment.


(No quick nine holes for you!)

OVI, WARRENSVILLE CENTER ROAD: A Chagrin Falls man, 39, was arrested Friday for operating a vehicle while intoxicated near the Chagrin Boulevard intersection.


(And evidently, he was chagrined when pulled over, too.)
THEFT, CHAGRIN BOULEVARD: On Saturday, an unknown suspect stole a pumpkin pail and assorted Halloween candy from CVS.

(Well you have to have a place to display your stolen candy corn.)

And there you have it - Crime in the BIG city.